phobias

Buttons. Unobtrusive, useful, inoffensive? Not if you have a button phobia. Seriously, this is not a joke, someone very close to me has a button phobia. One of my neighbours has a phobia of dwarves. It is believed this irrational anxiety stems from childhood. Hmmm makes it even more unusual that my button hater has a parent and a step-parent that are both clinical psychologists, one of whom specialises in, wait for it, phobias.

Some buttons are okay and manageable on a day-to-day basis. My friend's fear is at its worse when he comes in contact with decorative buttons. Loose buttons, buttins stored in a jar, a button inside a plastic bag (the kind you get as a spare with items of clothing), oversized buttons, unusually shaped buttons and buttons out of place.

He's travelling a long distance, he has been driving for a long time, he is desperate for a coffee and a break. He stops at the service station on the motorway and goes into the shop. He gets a tray, his coffee and a newspaper, and queues. Slowly but surely he gets nearer to the till. Finally, he is ready to pay. The cashier rings up the amount

"That's £9.30 please"

My friend is frozen on the spot. Not at the ridiculous price, this is rip-off Britain remember.

His eyes are fixed, glazed, filled with sheer terror. The cashier is waiting to be paid, my friend is oblivious. He has seen something that to him that is utterly disgusting and terrifying. Wedged in a gap between two counters was a button neatly contained in a clear plastic bag. He lets go of the tray and takes a careful step backwards, eyes still fixed. The cashier is confused. He turns around, walks quickly, heading for the door, now it's a run, he's running fast out of the service station. He gets into the car starts the engine and drives away, fast. No coffee, no paper, no toilet break.

My neighbour was standing in the street minding her own business. She turned to look in a shop window and out of the corner of her eye she saw something at hip level. She looked down, it was a dwarf. The dwarf smiled my neighbour screamed. A blood curldling, haunting, ear piecing scream. She began to run away also. The dwarf looked a mixture of bemusement and confusion. Afterwards my neighbour was mortified, in case she offended the little dwarf. She realises it is irrational but cannot help it. She avoids driving a certain way in the morning to work as there at the bus stop regularly stands, a dwarf.

Back to buttons. There is more to this story. His niece is showing signs of developing it, she is five years old and refuses to wear anything remotely button-like. Did I mention his sister also has it? Could it be learned behaviour? I wonder if his mum used to wear fancy, perhaps sometimes sharp buttons on clothing that could have scratched him during a cuddle. His sister then copied this (she is utterly in awe of her big brother) and in turn she has now passed it on to her youngest child.

We were at a dinner party recently and one of the guests has three decorative buttons on the shoulder of her top. He sat as far away from her as possible, he said he couldn't even look over in her direction for fear it would put him off his food.

I have been looking at phobias and found a few more unusual ones, buttons? Dwarves? They're quite rational compared to some I have found. If you think you are hard done by, there is always someone else worse off than you.


Ablutophobia- Fear of washing or bathing.

Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic

Androphobia- Fear of men

Caligynephobia- Fear of beautiful women

Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia- Fear of money